What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
