she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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