I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
