We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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