What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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