I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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