So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
