I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
