awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Girls should come with a carfax report
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
