i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
