I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Send help, water and tortillas.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
