Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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