I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
