What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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