Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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