At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize