Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
