They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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