I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
