I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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