When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize