I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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