I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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