She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
