As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
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