How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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