whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
