Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
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