I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
