these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
