its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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