you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize