yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
