I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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