If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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