My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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