She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
