We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
