Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
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found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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