He asked to "fluff my boner.."
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
