how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
