you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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