I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize