I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Less talking, more tequila
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize