I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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