girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
