Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
