WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
