and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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