If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
We got so high we made milksteak
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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