so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I enjoy the company of your penis
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
