Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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