they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
no more duck duck goose at the bar
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
