I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
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