You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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