just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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