Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
