3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
you would pick up someone in the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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