so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
