there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
